It took me years to fully understand that life is a gift.
It eventually took developing and thankfully recovering from a digestive disorder with the prognosis of a slow death by starvation to really drive the point home.
Waking up on that morning, the day after the chiropractor cracked my back louder than a firecracker…
… the day after waking up for 30 seconds in the middle of the night with the most intense headache I’ve ever experienced as synapses in my brain were connecting again and an electrical signal was able to flow from my brain to my stomach giving it the direction it needed to function…
… waking up on that morning without pain for the first time in nearly five years is a something that I wish I could have bottled and shared with you fully.
The intensity of the gratitude mixed with the fear of it not lasting …
… the joy of allowing myself to believe that I was going to be here to watch my children grow …
… is something I wish you could experience.But my wish for you is that you get to feel that without having to go through burning out of and closing a business that was at the top of its field and still on the rise …
… the ending of a marriage whilst waiting for brain scan results …
… and the guilt of having your 11 year old child take care of you and their younger autistic sibling because taking a shower was sometimes too much and the exhaustion sends you back to bed.
18 months was all it took to go from winning a Precious business award to being practically bedridden …
… but I knew that wasn’t the end of my story.
I knew, even as I completely accepted my predicted death that I was meant for More.
I knew as I recovered my strength that I was here to help everyone who entered my sphere to rise as high they chose to without killing themselves in the process.
I knew when I declared myself healed that nothing was going to stop me from living a life that was beyond my wildest dreams.
Am I there yet?
Am I on my way?
I now wake up in a city that excites me almost to tears every time I think of it.
I wake up to view that I saw in my visualisations hundreds of times before I ever saw it in my physical reality.
And the women that I work with are such incredibly powerful creators it’s an absolute honour to be in their presence and watch their achievements go off the charts.
But am I there yet?
No, I’m not there yet.
And guess what?
I never will be!
I know that as good as it gets, it gets to get better, and as much as I have I get to have More because that’s the way it works.
I’m a million miles away in time and space from the woman who worked around the clock trying to prove that she was worthy of the accolades and attention.
Now I spend time every day leaning into the knowing that I have always been worthy and with every leap and every new level, my sense of worth continues to be worked on because it also has to grow.
And I spend time every day leaning into the knowing that I can trust myself.
Business decisions are easy for me because I trust that I’m going to do the work. Jeez! That’s a given…
… but trusting that I get to keep everything I work for and everything I achieve is still something that requires daily attention and observation of my thoughts.
So as good as it gets I still get to do the work.